Thursday, September 24, 2009
Earlier today I started to think about why I don't do the things that I really want to do. That might sound weird, but I find that it's true (at least with me). When I know that what I really want to do is draw - I dispose of the thought and get on the computer. Sometimes I feel lazy and don't want to do my math, and even though I know that my math isn't very hard, and I can be finished with it in less than an hour if I set my mind to it, I just don't. I know that I really want to do my math, because finishing it will make me happy, but there's a little voice in my head that says, "That will take forever!" and, "You can skip out on math one day and get by. Anyway, you're exhausted."
Now, why is it that, more often than not, I listen to that little voice rather than my own reason? When my conscience pops up and says, "You should draw, Gretchen! You haven't in an age, and whenever you actually do it you re-realize that you love it. So go be creative and use your mind you lazy bum!" this little voice blocks it out and says, "Drawing is tedious, and it takes mental energy. Don't do that today." And why do I listen to one over the other? especially when I know that the first is the more truthful of the two? It's ridiculous. I've noticed that this usually happens when I'm trying to get myself to do something artistic. Now why is that? I love being artistic and creating things!
So, guess what? I'm going to rebel against that little voice.